Do any of you guys struggle with any mental illness?
I have this thing where it feels like I constantly have a fever and my body is restless. It feels exciting for a while and makes me motivated but then it fades and I just feel irritated by everything and paranoid.
It drives me nuts. When I don't have that, I usually feel super alienated and it keeps building up until I'm thinking of ways to die. It's like a constant emotional rollercoaster.
It's so hard, guys.
The worst thing is when I think of all the things I've ruined by being like this, people who didn't understand what I was going through and didn't want to deal with it. People who didn't accept me for the way I am and weren't patient enough to stick around in my life. It hurts me so much and makes me feel so flawed.
I feel like I can't even talk about it with people and like no one wants to hear it.
I don't mean to pour all this crap on you guys, just trying to find someone who can relate.
Hope you guys are doing okay.